Whoa My last training of my career:) Am I supposed to be happy? Or am I supposed to be emotional about it? Of course, the last training of my career and nothing interesting happened which can again be a good thing. Oh..but I did get frustrated with myself for playing so horribly. SIghz. Must be because I was using some crap racket and some new shoes. IAAAAN!!!!! When will you stop giving excuses for your poor performance?? Ouch. Anyway, sometimes I really hate confiding in friends. Espcially when their advice always seem to hit the right note. Like today, one of my teammates asked me to have more self confidence..I mean sure, I don't have much of THAT but I'm sure that its enough for me. But he asked me "Why do you go around pleasing everybody else and not yourself?" I was stumped. I mean..it never did occurred to me that I was pleasing others. I have always thought of it as making otehr happy so that I can be happy. But yeap. I do agree that I hate myself. Not for being te way I am. But for being go egoless and having an extrememly low self confidence. I mean, usually its a given that people will naturally have high self esteems. But oh well, some people are just plain stupid like me I guess. Anyway, we did have this team talk. Possibly our final team talk before our BIG match against RJC. Haha.Well, frankly, it was super boring. I wasn't even listening to what the coach had to say. But I did tell the team this (exact words) "I'm going to be honest with you. I'm afraid of meeting RJ. I'm afraid because I'm not sure that I can ever repay the trust that every single one of you has given to me whenever I play a match. But fear could be a good thing. It prevents you from being complacent. And I know that we fear RJ as much as they fear us. SO whoever has the stronger minds will emerge the victor." Lame huh? But oh well..I had to make the ending sound good as the front was downright morale "boosting". But besides boring training, one of the PE teacher erected some paper on the student council's notice board that allows students to write words of encouragement for us. Given that my classmates are so crazy, they went to VANDALISE the whole thing with "Go Ian!!!" messages. SIghz. And when That same PE teacher announced that we are going to the finals during the morning assembly (I didn't know what he was thinking), I really had to hang my head very low because suddenly everyone was congragulating me and I was so embarrassed! And then, my vice-captain was there basking in the spot light by waving his fist in the air or something. Man..I really don't understand why his class is just beside mine..I get so terribly embarrassed whenever he says anythign regarding badminton stuff. I just don't like people to know that I'm from badminton. ARGH!!!!!

But, I went to Medical Checkup for the army today after morning assembly. Whew! Managed to get out of school before anyone else congragulates me and I'll feel so embarrasssed again. It was pretty stupid really, the first station had me doing some urine tests. I thought that I was clear..until the officer held me back saying you see that green patch there? Your glucose level is very high. Oh dear. I was real scared. I mean, my family has a history of diabetes. I have no doubt that I'll eventually fall victim to it. But not SO soon!! AT the eye station, they diagnosed me with high Astigmatism (double vision) and partial colour blindness. And eventually, I went to take a retest to confirm my urine test and hey presto! I was clear. I was so worried that they might put me on insulin jabs or something. Haha. I was classified a PES B and I could do almost anything in the army! Oh no. I'll probably suffer like the rest of the people. Anyways, it was really tiring. Especially the Vocational Test a.k.a IQ test. Its so stupid and I couldn't finish so many questions!! ARgh!!! Anyways, till then..