Today was officially the last training of my life in TJC. Of course, contary to what I said about not coming back occasionally to train with the Year 1s, I know that deep inside me, I'll usually yield when people ask me to go back together as a group. But I'll leave this till later. Todays training started off well enough as usual....I was even acting sooo stupidly on court like a darn monkey for the fun of it. I was shouting and having sooo much fun before official training actually began when I played doubles against some Year 1s. Haha. But I don't know why..(actually, I do..I just won't believe it to be true) I suddenly became depressed and training suddenly seemed extermely dull. It was made worse when Mr Boon asked us to play soccer (oh no!!!). Yes. In case you did guess it, I made a complete fool out of myself. I was barged into a few times because nobody could see me standing like a block of stone there, and I was supposed to clear this ball which was like flying towards me but I completely missed it and made a complete fool out of myself. Plus of course, I kicked what I thought IS the ball but it was someone else's foot. Thing was his foot didn't hurt and mine DID!!! Of course, it didn't help that the entire track team was practicing and the swimming team was doing physical there and they could all see ME making a bloody fool out of myself. God..did you have to be sooo unkind to me? Anyway, next up on the list was SOFTBALL!!!!! Man, Mr Ng really knows how to dampen my mood further (in case you forgot I was suffering from a little dose of depression). SIghz. The Year 2s were up against the Year 1s. Nevermind that I didn't know how to play softball. What was worse I I couldn't even catch the ball and make a proper throw for nuts!! Argh!!!! Life is really humiliating me. To top up my day, the glare from the sun was killing me and I was itching all over from sitting on the grass for so long! Anyway, we did eventually make our way to the hall where we played our friendly match. It was a really stupid friendly match and I was playing a fool. As usual:) But Later, I sneaked outside and sat there for almost eternity. I was pondering about what made me depressed of course, and of course I got the answer but of course, I won't like to write it here for once:) But there was this one thing that made me pay attention. There is a difference between listening to your heart and listening to your head:) But evetually, I seem to find logic in what KQ said to me about crushes. For a while I was wondering what attracted me. But KQ said that its ok to not botehr about what I am attracted to. He said that crushes are a "natural disposition" and I do tend to agree with him. Doesn't matter whether you wish to fall in love or not. It just happens. Maybe the thing I was trying to understand is when it happens, let it happen and cherish it. If it doesn't, don't force it to happen. It'll never happen. I'm not sure. But it does sound familiar though. Maybe I have written about this before. Haha. But, the end of training was the nicest part. We were each given a piece of paper with our name written on it. We then had to pass the paper and write something nice about each person on their paper. It was so meaningful! I'm so glad my friend thought of that. Initially, I was having a hard time starting to write about my feelings. Felt so much like blogging in real life. Naturally, since I can't express my feelings well, I tend to be a little long winded to make sure my message gets across and yeap, I ended up writing GP essays for most of the people there. But the best compliment that I had was this "Ian!! Now I know why you don't have muscles, don't do tutorials and slack during training. You must be practising your handwriting at home right?" Haha. Thanks Jack. You sure are funny!! Anyways, I can't wait to see what the badminton males wrote about me. Till then..