Nah. I'm just ranting. Just ignore this post if ever anyone reads it.

Translated from chinese which this guy from my friend's chruch preached to me. "God has a plan for all of us. If you do not recognise god, you will fail to see his plan for you and you'll realise that your life has no meaning" Thats true, considering that many people live their daily life wondering why on earth their life is so meaningless. Going about the same chores everyday, doing the same old thing everyday. I'll be honest. I am one of those. I haven't found my meaning in life. And someday, when I look back at myself, I'll regret that I never cherished the moment that I have now. Instead, I'm wasting it wondering what is so meaningful about the very life I find meaningful. Certainly wondering about life itself can't be meaningful...can it? 2 and a half years of Army Life. In could be meaningful if it changes you. Changes you? For better or for worse? WHen the Army makes you more punctual, it could also make you more temperamental since everything has to be done on time (impatience). In that case, whose to judge whether you have become a better person? Will there be meaning in giving up my carefree and easily-contented attitude (which has I guess saved many of my friendships) for an attitude that is firm and ambitious? But then again, I haven't found my meaning in life haven't I? So nobody except god can say whether change is necessarily good or not. But then again, purpose in life? DO we even need a reason for living? The question I pose is if freedom is what most people crave for, then why are they unknowingly sacrificing their 'freedom' to live life according to their purpose? WOuldn't that be binding yourself? And then again, does destiny has anything to do with this purpose in life? Why if people believe in destiny, surely our destiny would point us in the direction of our purpose in life. So technically, we don't need to go out and try to fulfill our purpose since destiny will inevitably point us in the right direction. But then, back to life again. Living day after day. Hour after hour. Finding no meaning to life. Perhapes my purpose in life is to be a street dweller. Someone who lives off the crumbs of society. Which brings me back to the Army. It somehow always points back to the Army doesn't it. My father told me "its good to at least have a crush so that when you have alot of shit to do, the thought of your crush, or seeing your girlfriend during the weekend will keep you going". Perhapes he is right about the girlfriend part. But about the crush part, I neglected to mention that it freaking hurts more than it'll spur me on because apparently, I never do anything about my crushes and even if I did, they never recipocrated anyways. SO what am I going to do then? Whats the purpose of living everyday like a slave to your Sergeant. The purpose of my life if ever there was one. A positive attitude. I'm trying! So long as I find my reason for going to the army, I'll have a positive attitude. Much like the reason that spurred me to train for my badminton competition back in April. Lets hope I think of something in my sleep. But with all due respect to the person who said those words at the beginning of the paragraph to me, I believe your view, but I believe that my purpose in life must be something that I choose myself. Not something someone chose for me.