At the rate that I keep pissing my friends off, by the end of the week, I'll be left with no friends at all. It was supposed to be a chalet outing by the 7 of us. Kind of best friends since secondary school. The night turned out well enough though. We had BBQ, sponsered by Sze Yu Sheng (possibly the first time I have ever seen this). Anyways, after the BBQ dinner, Wang Kang, Yu Sheng and myself, settled down to play Risk (a board game thats all about risk) while teh rest settled down for a looonnnggggg game of Mahjong. To cut a long night short, In the end, Yu Sheng and I slept at 6 AM because we were tired and because the rest were still enjoying a great game of mahjong. The problem started at 9 AM when I was suddenly awaked by one of my friends (name omitted for obvious reasons). The first thing he asked me to do was to ask me father to come earlier to fetch me to Meridien JC where I was supposed to play with their players. I declined to do so because I was sleepy, lazy and grumpy (try waking up after 3 hours of sleep). He then lamanted about the fact that if he "wasn't the host of the chalet, he would have left long ago". The reason was because while we (me and Yus Sheng) were sleeping 1 person to a bed, he had nowhere to sleep (the other bed was occupied by the other 4 people). So, I moved over to one side of the bed (it wasn't very big k?) and offered him to sleep beside me. He didn't decline my offer but he didn't take it either. Instead, he continued complaining about how he would have left. I thought that he didn't hear me and offered him again to sleep on the bed beside me. But I seriously don't know whether he chose to 'dao' me or he honestly didn't hear me but he just said that he was leaving for home to sleep and he did. He also took with him the key to the chalet which means that we had no power (must insert keycard into the slot for power) and all the air-conditioners went off. Subsequently, I received this sms from him

"You only care about yourself sleeping lor. You have one bed to yourseld. Of course you will wan to cont to sleep lor. Think of others who don't have a place to slp."

To which, I replied (Kinda forgot exactly what I wrote as I didn't save it) that I did in fact offer him to sleep beside me on the bed but he didn't take up the offer. And he replied me with this SMS

"Wads wrong with asking ur father to come earlier? U only care abt ur meridien"

The Meridien part was because my father was coming to fetch me to Meridient to play badminton. And I didn't reply his message after that. The 2 immediate thing that came to my mind was he wanted a lift from the chalet. If so, to me, it was unreasonable on his part to just wake me up and ask me to ask my dad to come earlier to fetch me. Firstly, when I am awaken from my sleep, I am still half in dreamland and unable to comprehend whats going on around me. Secondly, if you want a lift, you could just tell me the reason and let me think about it slowly. And ok, I admit I was also at fault for declining your request almost immediately. But put yourself in my shoes. If I woke you up asking you to ask your mom to fetch him earlier, would you have said "no problem"?

Anyway, since this is MY damn blog and I can write wadeva the hell I want to and you are never in a million years going to read this, I'm going to stand my ground for once. You have no bloody right to just accuse me of not thinking of others as by you first SMS. When i went to sleep, I told you while you were playing mahjong. You had no objections. And it wasn't as if I asked you to fuck off did I? I OFFERED you to sleep beside me but you didn't take it. So you have no right to tell me that I am selfish! If you want the damn bed to yourself, tell me and I'll share the other bed with my friend! Besides, it wasn't as if I was the only one at fault was I? There were 6 other people including the person sleeping on the other bed but you only choose to SMS me. Was the incident about my father so that important? I mean if you didn't want a lift (as I later probably figured out), you just wanted my father to send me away to Meridien so that you could sleep on the bed. I mean, if you really wanted that damn bed, I repeat, I would have just given it to you if you HAD JUST ASKED!!!

Anyway, thanks to this 'incident' at 9 AM, my whole day mood was spoilt. BECAUSE OF YOU. I'm not those type of people who can pretend that nothing is bothering them. At this age, the 3 things that always bothers me is issues regarding my non-existant love life, friendship problems (which I have been getting alot lately) and fears about major examinations.

Which was why I was majorly hesitating to go to the fellowship BBQ later that afternoon. What was I to say to you? All the things I have written? Wouldn't it just worsen the friendship? But personal issues aside, I told you along with other friends that I would go. And I made a promise to myself not to turn back on my word. I had the perfect excuse in mind too. i would pretend to be sleeping (I really wanted to because I was so tired after training plus the fact that I slept only 3 hours earlier that morning) and ignore ANY phone calls asking me why I wasn't there. But I guess I felt extremely bad about breaking my promise and so, I dragged Yu Sheng to come along with me. I have no idea how I managed to drag him along with me considering he was as tired as I was and he had NO OBLIGATIONS to keep by going to the BBQ but he had everything to lose as he forsakened his sleep to follow me. I'm really grateful to you (Yu Sheng) and seriously, I don't think I can find another person who respects me as much as you:)

Before leaving, I sent you an SMS apologising for what happened in the morning (as a gesture of goodwill. Nothing more. I have yet to receive a reply and I bet you ignored it.

And so, regrettably, I sincerely apologise to everyone at the fellowship BBQ for my really 'bad' behavior today. There is a difference between keeping a promise and respecting others. Today, I was in such a frame of mood and mind that I somehow didn't show you people the respect that you people at the fellowship deserved. I'm really sorry. I gave the excuse that I was sleepy (I was) but the truth was that 'issue' was still bothering me. ANd it would continue to do so until I slept on it.

And to end the day, I left the fellowship BBQ for another of my friend's (Andrew Woo) BBQ. SIghz. And now I am home. Blogging away. And so, I guess that at the end of it all, arguements will always be a part and parcel of friendships. Perhapes the real issue heer was not to understand my friends as well as he would have liked me to. And perhapes my friend being so tired and pissed-off by unable to find a bed that he was in a pretty foul mood. And I failed to read that. Perhapes in the end, the fault was both ur faults. Perhapes. Till then, I'll sleep on it. And hope tomorrow (I meant today) would be a better day.