I'm a wimp! I truely am! 2 days ago, one of my good friends asked me to his church's Praise Nite. I was determined not to go. True reason? I felt super bad about it considering that I was a Buddhist and going to a place of worship that doesn't 'belong' to my religion. Consider a Christian going to a temple to listen to Buddhist chantings as an analogy. Sighz. It was good to finally tell somebody about it even if its juz a computer. I tried all sorts of excuses. Some really stupid that goes along the lines of "ohhhhhh! stomach cramp!" to some really 'legitimate' reasons such as "ahhh. my friends invited me to another church tomorrow". But instead of of my friend getting the BIG FAT HINT, he chose to call up for re-enforcements. Re-enforcements in his dictionary means mobilizing his friends to persuade me. Think along the lines of adding voices to the 'cause'! He got his sister (whom I knew of course) and Huizhen (whose from TJ) to call me and got another person from his church to SMS me! Sighz. I really don't wish to go! But if I reject him, there will be 2 consequences.
1. The friendship between me and him will sour becoz even after all the effort he put in, I his friend wouldn't even oblige him.
2. I'll feel super bad about not going because I am going to waste the time and effort of all the people who ask me to go. And I am definitely not some big-shot who enjoys people to 'beg' him to go! I really feel very bad about not going after all the effort made to ask me to go!
So....I finally relented. But I was very sure that he said that this was the last time I would be going to Church because there will be NO MORE church events and next year I will be going army. Besides, I'm also sure I made it clear that this is the last time that I am going to Church.

Which is the topic of todays blog. To vent my anger and my bloody frustration!!!! I was again invited to my friend's (same friend) church in Sembawang. This time, it was regarding a performace. I know they won't preach to me to join their church. Or to believe in christianity. But I seriously didn't wish to go! The first time he asked me, I replied as slow as I could. i told him "aiyoooo. can i say don't want to go?" He replied "but why?" and put me in an extremely difficult position. WHy? If I told you why...will you buy it? WIll you hate me? Will you think I am just giving excuses? And then....the phone rang. Oh no! Haha. It was his sister! And his younger sister! ANd after I put down the phone promising them to 'think' about it, the phone rang again. It was Huizhen! Argghhhhhh! It was repeating itself. The whole process whereby if I don't go, I'll feel terribly bad about it. Sooooo I relented. And now, I am super angry with myself for not being FIRM! For simply always giving in! I a wimp! How the hell am I supposed to stand up to people in future if I'll always relent to their requests no matter how much I hate to follow their request! Sighz! I really don't know what to do now. Bang my head against the wall? Or I could just bloody sleep my life away. I'm going to attend Meridien Junior College's badminton training tomorrow with my sister. At least their teacher is such a nice guy unlike some asshole Boon. And at least I'll rest easier if my sparring with them motivates them to improve so that they will beat TJC next year! I'm mean. I'm 'Wang(4) En(1) Fu(4) Yi(4)" SO what? Does anyone even care if I try to be nice? Does anyone even appreciate it?