If only Christmas started on a right note for me. Well, like most incidents that went wrong, it could have been averted or prevented. It started out well enough. The plan was for me to sleepover at my friend's house in Bedok. It went well enough. And then, if I remembered correctly I made the suggestion to go to the movies. Time, 11 PM. My friends agreed and went to Princess Cinema in Bedok. But the movies there really sucks..except for Lord of The Rings which my friend strongly objected to. SO, after must deliberation and hesitation, a new decision was made to go to Tampines Mall in Tampines? Time, 12 05 AM. Merry Christmas by the way only it isn't really merry for me. And in Tampines....the only seats they had available for Scary Movie 3 were 2nd row front seats. My friends weren't trilled....I mean they hated 2nd row seats. The next available show which had decent seats was 'Under The Tuscan Sun'. I was super in favour of that show coz I wanted to see it BUT apparently, on knowing that it was a romantic show, the rest of my friends didn't even want to hear the show's name again. AM I gay???? ANyways....here was where it got ugly. The 6 of us. We had a vote. To watch Scary Movie 3 or not. And it was a tie. So after MUCH hesitation, the movie outing was called off which seriously made me very sianz! Sighz. I understand that my friends didn't want to watch the show coz they hated the seats and they are going to pay $8.50 for it! But I felt very sian because after all the travelling and stuff the movie outing was just called off? Right in front of the cinema? SIghz. Okok. I have no right to be sulky but I really felt sianz. And I guess I can understand why my friends felt sian too coz I was being all sulky and sianz or whatever. Anyways, they were looking for ways to get back to Bedok. And there was this EXTREMELY sian mood (I think its all because of me). SIghz. And in Tampines, the interchange is just beside the MRT. And while they were there sitting around, I was looking at the MRT and thinking about going home. And I guess, I went home. And I think that everyone else was super pissed off with me for being 'buay on'. Likes just boycotting the group when we were supposed to spend the WHOLE night together. SIghz. I really felt very bad. But I seriously didn't want to spend my Christmas just lounging around Tampines. SIghz. I really ought to just die. I made people upset on Christmas. What was I thinking? I am selfish! I guess I'll apologise to them now. And hope they forgive me.

Inner Peace. Believe it or not, that was what I prayed for in Thailand when I visited temples. It sounds really stupid now that I think about it. Inner Peace? Get a life man. I used to think that if I had inner peace, I would appreciate the things that I have now as well as the things that I don't have. In short, I would be satisfied with life. Grow up Ian! Inner Peace is for monks, pastors....etc. I need something called wisdom. SO that I can bloody think for myself and learn how to avoid really pissing the people close to you. Sooner or later, I foresee that I'm going to lose all my friends. And you know what? It will be all my fault. And when its all over, I'll be left wondering what I did wrong.

And to think my day started well enough. I received SMSes from the various people whom I sent Christmas Cards to! If I wasn't wrong, I received a total of 4 SMSes from different people. And I was thanked by a few others more through ICQ and MSN=) In short, almost everybody whom I sent the card to were extremely surprised and happy! And the really funny thing is...I felt really happy that I made people happy! Cool! Until that freaking incident at night, my christmas eve was good ok! Sighzzzzz. It feels nice to do good. But why do I have to do bad too? It makes me feel horrid!

And to everyone whose reading this, here is a really nice song I'll dedicate to EVERYONE since its CHRISTMAS! For those of you who watches Love Actually, its sung by the little girl whom the little guy has a crush on. Its titled All I Want For Christmas Is You"

All I Want For Christmas Is You

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas
Is you

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
You baby

I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
You baby

All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleighbells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
Won't you please bring my baby to me

I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
I just want You for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is
You baby

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL!

PS: To my friend whose reading this. You know who you are. What happened wasn't your fault. You did everything you could. I'm sorry I'm such a horrible counsellor and apparently I'm terrible at lending you my ears to since I am so selfish. But still, I really do hope that you get over this small incident and cheer up. You really are a nice person and I hate to see nice people get saddened by really crappy people. So...CHEER UP! Its CHRISTMAS!