Words come hard to me these days. I could sit down and stare at this blank screen in front of my for a good 10 minutes or so and yet not ype in anything. At the end of it, I'll just press the logout button and nothing gets written. Other days, I would type in a load of garbage, then after re-reading it, realise its garbage and its really a waste of time to let people read what I wrote and then I press the logout button without saving the entry. Then today, I realise that the original purpose of the blog was to write down whatever I feel and whoever reads it reads it at their own peril. So here I am, back again churning out more garbage about my stupid life.

Time in school passes quickly these days. It seems that the saying "the more you know, the more you realise you don't know" kind of holds true in my life. I tried paying attention during all of my Economics Tutorials and short of gaining much needed enlightenment, I had instead gotten more uncertainties and more contradictory economic theories which needless to say is extremely frustrating. The same goes for maths. Just when I finally thought that I can handle Statistics, the recent tutorials have me stumped and clueless as to how to even tackle the question. Even now, I still don't see what is so great about significance level and confidence intervals and I certainly do not want to know anymore about sigma, variance, standard diviation, how they are related and so on. I'm almost 80% sure that I am so going to drop Statistics for my Maths paper. And my physics tutor issued anotehr complaint about me to my father. He said that I lack disicpline and I didn't wait for him when it was my tuition time. He claimed that he had to wait for me while I trot out of my room with my stuff when I should have gotten it ready long ago and be there at the table WAITING for him. Honestly, a long time ago, I would have gone along with his enthics. But now, after all the erm shit that I have been through with him, I can safely say that I am beginning to detest him. Besides, I would have also followed whatever he wanted if he commanded my respect. But the way he has been conducting himself these few sessions makes me lose respect for him faster than Arsenal are losing money.

Anyway, my cough has not yet improved but my nose has. I have been blowing and blowing my nose in school to clear all the mucus out of my system (possibly disgusting my classmates in the process). But oh well, cough is the one thing that just won't go away without medication and I think that I have gone far enough without telling my father about my condition and all. The last straw probably came during PE today when I joined the S Paper group hoping that whatever they did was manageable for me. Fat Hope. Even thoguh the distance was short compared to my usual morning Mass PE distance, I stopped running barely 400m after I left the school. I felt like there was some giant and I mean giant deflator in my lungs. No matter how hard I breathed in, no air seemed to get in. Besides, I was wheezing with every breath i took scaring the hell out of me. Anyway, to the disappointment of many (sorry guys), I am still alive.

Wanted to post about learning to be happy to convince myself to be happier. But apparently, I have to go to the living room and sit down and WAIT for my Physics Tutor. Haha. Don't worry. The badboy in me will prevail. I am just giving him some respect in the hope that he'll recipocrate. And if he doesn't, I'll probably just add him to my list of erm..fallen nemesis.