And then...you wake up

Another sleepless night. By my own doing of course. Afternoon naps never seem to bide well with me these days. But after today, I'll sleep better at night.

It began with Alvin's SMS "I'll make it a point not to cancel my appointments for yours in future then". This was in response to me confirming a mahjong session when aparently not everyone has confirmed. Well in hindsight, I thought it was on. He asked me why I confirmed when not everyone was ok. I told him that its more persuasive this way. And you see the problem?

The issue wasn't with trying to be persuasive. Persuasive-ness is an important life tool. But I approached it with a promise that I couldn't fulfil.

And thats my problem. A failure to live up to promises. But then thats not the root cause really. The root lies deeper a little. A failure to execute. Procrastination. Laziness. Lack of discipline. These are usually terms used to describe this little HUGE problem I have.

I had grandeur dreams. But I realize I am just another person whose destined for mediocrity. And the reality really hurts.