I'm such a loser. Couldn't even finish my last post before starting on a new thread. Don't worry, I'll concurrently upload photos and blogg at the same time since uploading photos take such a long time anyways

Resolutions

2007 and resolutions. Before that, 2006 and resolutions. In 2006, I made these resolutions

1. Puntuality
2. Carrying out my promises
3. Never regretting life

In a way (contary to what my Biz Law Group thinks), I have improved on my punctuality. I am early for trainings, one of the earliest for LTB meetings and other miscellaneous stuff. As for carrying out promises, I can't remember specific incidents whereby I carried out promises after making them BUT I am pretty sure that even if I didn't carry out those promises, I would at least have told you that I couldn't make it and in the worst case senario, apologised to you. If I haven't even done any of these, please go ahead and tell me. I'll gurantee you an apology. And lastly about never regretting life. This part is tricky. When I said I would never regret life, I really meant in terms of SMU. I would do what I want to do to satisfy myself. In this aspect, maybe I have failed. My participation in seminars leave much to be desired. Sometimes, I feel that my really lousy grades could have been pushed a little higher had my participation been better. But like I said, regretting is never the way to go. But in other cases, I feel that I have opened up a little bit more and in a way challenged myself in ways I never have (a little). Onwards to the future:)

2007. My mom said that resolutions were made to be broken. I beg to differ. If I can keep one resolution every year, I'll be a much better person. If I didn't mean to keep those resolutions I made, I would never have made them to begin with. So what resolutions would I want to make to improve myself over this new year? This year, its simplier.

1. I want to be focused.

This resolution is actually meant to be ambiguous. Focused mainly in the tasks on hand. Focused in my life. Knowing what I want. What I should do to get it. What I should be doing for the future. In short, when I do something, I want to do it to the best of abilities or not touch it at all.

2. Participate more in class

When I say this. I actually mean it a little differently. Actually if you analyse it, its not so much about participating in class. Its the same thing as I want to get good grades. Its not so much saying that I want to get good grades. What I really am trying to say is I want to learn how to get good grades. And likewise I want to learn how to participate actively in class. And the answer really I guess to me now is pretty simple. Be more spontaneous. Be comfortable. Be open. Shut out my fear of being ridiculed or looked down upon. Throw my ego out of the window. Throw everything away. Pretend that I am speaking to my good friends. And not just in class. In everything. Unlearning 12 years of British education is not easy and neither is fighting your very basic character. I might seem open and friendly in school. But I am a frightfully reserved person in private. Believe it or not.

About Life

The past year I have really been giving much thought to the meaning of life. Sure many people have givent his stupid question much thought. Yet no matter how correct your answer all might be, everyone should really answer this question for themselves. Nobody leads your life and you as the captain of your own life really should map out your own directions.

But like everything you do in life, I feel that I should know what I really want in life before starting to even plot the directions in life. Where would I want to be? What do I aspire to become? What kind of a person do I want myself to become? What are my ambitions in life? (I must really have been reading too many Mitch Albom books).

Life consist of many aspects. But from what my limited and shortsighted mind can see, life really boils down to money and love. Sure sure, life is definitely much more than just love and money. What about scientists who dedicate their whole lives to fighting illnesses for the betterment of society? What about those leaders who crave of nothing but power? Well, the way I look at it, I'll never be a politician so I don't crave for power. I can never be dedicated enough to spend my life fighting against illnesses knowing that even if I conquered one, dozens more will pop up. Plus I lack the intelligence (ok so thats really the main reason).

So by my very own definition that my life is about love and money, what do I want? Actually, I forgot to look deeper into this. Its not really about love or money. Its really really much simplier than it. The real menaing of life is really about being truely happy and contented with life. If you are happy, you (I) would have found true meaning in my life. Ok since I am absolutely tired and sleepy, I'll get straight to the point. I treasure the family life that I have. I believe that my parents and I share a very unique relationship. Simply put, we are very close. I feel that older I get, the closer I get to him. Go figure.

A balance must always be struck in life. Life cannot continue without money. But a life without love is worse than hell. In our endless pursuit for money, we sacarifice ourselves, our time and most importantly our families. The very people whom we are actually earning the money for. I might get caught up in the rat race. I might in future give excuses that I am doing all these for my family. But if ever anyone sees me like that in future, please please I beg you now, bring me back down to earth. I believe that you can never earn enough money. Money doesn't last forever. But family love should be unconditional. They'll always be there for you unless of course you have already sacrificed them.