Even though I haven't the slightest idea what it means, I am actually intrigued by the study of Quantum Physics. It was really all thanks to this book called "timeline" which was coincidentally made into a motion picture due to the book's overwhelming popularity. Thinking about it, I am actually interested in the study on physics. But I was afraid of the tedious work, the hours of frustrations, the lack of progress in physics and above all, I was lazy. Which was the main reason why i steered clear of engineering. Heck if you wanted the truth, my ambition in secondary 2 was to be a genetic engineer. But the dreams faded in time as I wasn't allowed to persue Biology in secondary 3 as I wasn't in the special stream. And then again, I'm quite sure that I would have flunked biology anyways. My love affair with stars and planetary systems really started back in primary school when I was intrigued by the way my mom described solar systems and space. But realistically, you couldn't make a living in Singapore studying planets and stars and nebulas. And until recently, I thought that the study of quantum physics was solely associated with Einstein's photoelectric effect. I was wrong. The photoelectric effect was merely the most basic of basic quantum physics. It set the stage and the fundamentals for quantum physics to develope. And until recently again (thanks to the book), I didn't know that quantum physics played a very important role in the stars and the galaxies. In fact, quantum physics is now possibly the best way to investigate how the universe works. And its ironic isn't it? To use the smallest of particles to describe the vast magnitude of space.

All good things must come to an end. Safsa attachment is ending soon and along with it, the priviledge of booking into camp at 8 30 in the mornign and leaving promptly at 16 30. Along with the priviledge of eating lunch outside camp and playing erm counterstrike with the rest of the safsa team. Soon, it will be back to duty duty duty as my fellow safsa players have told me "safsa players are always condemned". And to add stress to myself, I am supposed to be studying my Basic Theory of Driving test. But I have absolutely no idea how I am going to cram so much signs and indicators into my brain. In fact, I can't even imagine myself driving. Sighz. And I have OFFICIALLY given up trying to be a nicer person. Bah. I'm wasting my time. If my real self is man, ugly, rude, vulgar and all those other bad traits, then so be it. You can't please EVERYONE and in fact, trying to please everyone will simply potray that you are obliging and that you are weak, meek and easy to bully. And this will in turn get you lots of unnecessary work because people know that you'll oblige. And I have decided that maybe my fatehr was right. That sometimes you need to fuck people right in their face before they'll lay off. And perhapes if someone pisses me off real bad, I'll just fuck him there and then. Even if he decides to beat me up (and I'll probably go down), it is a decision that I have possibly decided and it is indeed a good way to downgrade myself. There was an observation I made back insecondary school that online gaming actually causes people to be more ermmm agressive and short-tempered. They'll get agitated easily if they die or lose. And I've realised that this was still true when I killed one of the safsa players the other day and had to contend with a whole string of vulgarities thrown my way and the promise that he'll kill me for the next X rounds (where X was the number of rounds until he cooled down). Ah heck. In times like this, you feel pissed. But you try not to say anything as anything will provoke him into further agression and that will in turn provoke you which will ultimately lead to a super heated all out confrontation or something. In other words, suck thumb.

And Cheers starts on monday. SIghz. Something like tha National Open, it is a place where players like me will get slaughtered by the ex-national or current national players. I just don't understand it. Why play if you know you can't make it anyway? I'm going to wash safsa's reputation right down the drain. Oh and my father has actually gave me the green light to go and discuss the specifications of a new PC with my cousin who will probably build it for me given that the PC is within his budget. The thing is I am seriously torn about getting the PC. While it will satisfy my cravings for games, it is by right a very bad choice. Even though I get home everyday and can play the PC, getting a $2000 machine to play games is just a plain waste of money. Besides, my father would possibly have to incure another few thousand 2 years down the road for 2 laptops when my sister and I enter university. Given that I will be buying a laptop in 2 years, it doesn't seem feasible at all that I should buy a new PC now. Besides, I should be growing up and out of games. But then again, I really do want to play games that my current PC can only dream of supporting. Darn. My cousin has spoken to and me and told me to really think about it. Truth is I'm not really in the need of a PC except to play games but that is a luxury. But if i were to get a new PC, it would have to be soon as in the words of my father "if you want to play, delaying it will decrease your playing time but I will still spend the same amount of money for the PC". SHucks. So how?!?!?!?!?