Of all the various vocations in the army, Regimental Police (RP) is considered to be one of the easiest. For starters, there is not much physical activity as compared to other vocations such as Commandos, Guards, Infantry..etc. There is no more SOC for Regimental Policeman as compared to all other COMBAT units. ANd along with the easy job, also comes "limited" power which is confined to the camp itself. A Regimental Policeman is allowed to check on ANYONE who is inside the camp. And a Regimental Policeman, usually being the "face" of the camp, is expected to be polite, friendly and courteous at all times. In short, A Regimental Policeman is expected to BE NICE. ANd sometimes, being NICE doesn't always win you nods of approval especially from your fellow RPs. Allow me to elaborate. AT the end of the day, RPs must stand at the gate to do spot checks on leaving vehicles and army personal. The reason is simply to stop any unauthorised/classified materials from being smuggled out of camp. However, it is also the time where RPs "exercise" their power to stop ANYONE at the gate for a spotcheck. And of course, as you may guess by now, RPs tend to abuse their "powers" alot. For example, when we see some trainee rushing to get out of camp, the natural thing that we would do would be to halt him and do a through check on his bag. Anyway, there is this clerk from the guardroom who doesn't have the right to check bags but does so anyway. His name is Jason Siddons. And he, is my un-official mentor. He decided to "train" me in the fine arts of inspecting bags because he thought that I was too soft. Too soft meaning that I was too lenient and i was too NICE to them. Nice meaning I say "EXCUSE me, may I inspect your handphone PLEASE?" and after inspection "THANK YOU. Have a nice day". Obviously for some weird reason, this has not gone well with my fellow RP mates who think that I am just trying to be outstanding or something. And this has especially not gone well with Mr Jason Siddons (who happens to outrank me) and has repeatedly told me to "cut it out". But while I'll not change my style of doing things, I guess that this is one of the few times being NICE doesn't pay. Especially since Jason controls the guardroom and can really CREATE problems for me.

Being an RP also gives you alot of free time to rot. Yeah. Its true. My flesh is literally peeling off my bones. And naturally, I assumed correctly that failing IPPT (NAPFA) is a curse bestowed upon us RPs. Its true. Of the 8 RPs who took IPPT last week, 7 failed. Boredom is another major factor that plagues us RPs. Imagine standing sentry for 2 hours with only the Gate IC to keep you company. Sure, you could talk. Talking is possibly the only thing that will keep you from dying of boredom and it also makes the clock tick faster. So, 14 hours a week of pure question and answer session with the Gate IC. It is thus inevitable that eventually, we'll dwell on the taboo topic of love. Taboo because in the army, there is no girls and definitely no love. And shitty too, because I am once again reminded that I am SINGLE. Day after day, I get to stand sentry with different Gate IC's. Most of them are Malays and most of them currently have a girlfriend or has had a girlfriend. Back in TJ, some of my classmates were single and we could share our WOES together. Cry our hearts out together. Swear that the girls were against us together. COmplain about our non-existant love lives together. But here? Oh no....Usually, it'll be like "you don't have a girldfriend? Not even 1 before? Wah. Your screwed man" Oh man. And then again, I can't ask them to introduce girls to me because...they exactly be thrilled to introduce malay girls to me and I won't exactly be thrilled to jio malay gilrs (shucks...I guess that makes me a racist?). The 2 other chinese guys there...well, 1 is an Ah Beng who frequents the pub and who is distancing himself away from me because he thinks I am too goody goody. The other chinese, my Guard 2IC, claims that all the girls that he knows are way too old and matured for me. And there you have it. The way I will spend my army life everyday for the next 2 years. Gone were the dreams of going through thick and thin with your army buddies and eventually forming super strong friendship ties. Gone were the hopes of my army friends VOLUNTEERING their assisstance in trying to get me hitched (:P). Gone. All Gone. Instead, I am stuck with a group of superficial friends whom I'll probably never contact the moment I leave camp. Well, its true that they are very nice guys. But still, somehow I tend to feel that the Malays prefer the company of other Malays and my "Ah Beng" friend prefers solitary confinement where he can SMS his "contacts"all day long. Its going to be a long 2 years all right.

And I have finally received a letter from SMU asking me to go for an interview! But initial happiness soon turned into fear. Yes fear. I HATE interviews. Just suck at them. I have never given a good impression of myself at interviews. I stumble over words. I realise that I cannot formulate decent thoughts and sentences to impress the interviewer. In short, I am afaid of interviews. And fear does wonders to your mindset and thinking. Everyday now, I question myself. Are you really sure you wish to go to SMU? An answer that was so obvious when I submitted my application now became a dilenma. Would I ever get used to their interactive methods of teaching? Would I hide at the back of the class as I did back in JC? Would I actively participate in projects? Research? Am I vibrant? Am I socialable? Can I cope in there? Was I even SMU material? All these questions took turns to haunt me everyday. Somehow I was afraid that after 12 years of regimental UK teaching methods, I was afraid that I could not and would not adapt myself to the American style of education. Back then in March, when I went for the open house. I thought that as SMU was such an open environment where everybody voices their views freely, I would naturally be lured out of my shell and open up. An essential tool to surviving in the adult world. Communication. I would have to learn to express myself. To be able to talk confidently. To be able to carry myself properly. But what if I was wrong. In the same way that a person weak in english might attempt to take english literature to boost his english, I was here trying to do the same. In the case mentioned above, I have seen my fair share of people who struggled very significantly and still failed in the end. I was afraid that I would end up like that. I would have wasted time, money and effort. Then I convinced myself. I would have to learn to be expressive sooner or later. WHy not sooner? Now, I am convinced that if everyone around you is very open and active, in face of such "competition", I might just shrink away and hide myself further in my shell. Definitely not good. So instead of preparing for my interview, here I am worrying about whether I really want to go to SMU. WHy? WHy did the answer seem so clear not too long ago and appear so hazy now?