When I look at Staff Teo (my immediate sperior), somehow I feel like I am looking at a part of my father. If somehow my father had signed on in the army, I am sure this would be how my father would be. His managerial styles, attitudes and methods are similar to my father's. Its quite impressive that such managerial methods from over 30 years ago still exist and continue to thrive. Well, I guess thats the beauty of the army. Why its so god damned inefficient and why no one respects it.

Well, I could complain on and on about the army. About why I am so pissed. About the bad stuff that happened to me. But I could also mention that I am already considered very lucky to be able to stay out of camp even though I hold a combat post (Not for long!). I could also mention all the welfare I've received which makes me think an incident like today is well...a trade off for all the good I've received. My staff told me to think about it. I did. I realised that I could learn alot from this incident. Trust. I placed too much trust in my acquaintances from camp. I just keep forgetting the mentality in my camp is every man for himself. I realised that besides trust, it is OK to bypass normal lines of communications to tackle a situation. Who cares about the order of rank. In the end if its for my own gain, why not?

Ok right. Wanted to post lyrics to songs again. :) Titled "Only One" by Yellowcard.

Only One

Broken, this fragile thing now

And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces

And I've thrown my words all around

But I can't, I can't give you a reason



I feel so broken up (so broken up)

And I give up (I give up)

I just want to tell you, so you know



Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do

You are my only, my only one



Made my mistakes, let you down

And I can't, I can't hold on for too long

Ran my whole life in the ground

And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone



And something's breaking up (breaking up)

I feel like giving up (like giving up)

I won't walk out until you know



Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do

You are my only my only one



Here I go, so dishonestly

Leave a note for you, my only one

And I know you can see right through me

So let me go and you will find someone



Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go, there's just no one, no one like you

You are my only, my only one