Miss me? No? wwww how sad? But its expected. No problems. Haha. So whats been going on in my life? Lets see. Well, there was the first time I blew my head in the guardroom. And then there was this other time when I reprimanded this kid coz he was pissing me off pretty bad. So technically, thats twice I have lost my temper in 3 weeks. Not exactly a thing to be happy about right? Sighz. You had no idea how disappointed I was with myself that day when I lost it in the guardroom. Sure, I made all sorts of excuses about how I was frayed I was because of a lack of sleep and so on and so forth but truth was, I lost it. And the worst thing is it wasn't even an incident was worth getting upset about. Aww how shitty. But oh well, guess all I can do is start behaving like an alcoholic again and start chanting "its been 1 month 2 days 4 hours and 23 seconds since I have last lost my temper"

And then last week, there was GSMB's very own speed dating event! Nevermind that i was under aged (heck it was only a year!). Nevermind that all the ladies there were older than me. Heck! Nevermind that I was nervous and felt like going home the minute I arrived. It was my first speed dating of my life (and probably the 1st of many in SDU). Anyways, truth was, the layout was extremely cheesy. There were heart shaped balloons, heart shaped confetti and all that nonsense. Surprising for an army event but totally out of point even though it was a singles event. Anyways, in short, I was horrid. Somehow, i kind of expected myself to be this way but I really did want to try and socialise abit. But I failed myself horribly. Well, when we split up into our different little groups, I was tongue tied. Yeap tongue tied, and lost. Absolutely lost. After the 1st round of introductions (I'm Ian. Huh? Eeeee-an. But Yan is fine by me as well)., some of the guys really started to get into the spirit of things. They started chatting up with the girls. And all I could do was stare at those lovely wooden tables in front of me. Wonderfully made. Real wood. And surprisingly clean. Hey am I missing something? Haha. Yeap. I didn't even get to ACT friendly and try to socialise. But, there is always warm up, and main course. Main course was of course speed dating. Not one on one but rather sort of musical chairs style. The girls stay put at their respective tables and the guys rotate every 5 mins in a group to socialise. 5 minutes. There were a total of 6 tables. First 2 tables were spent in total silence on my part. The 3rd, I managed a "I'm Ian. And you are?" only to get this reply "Huh? I can't hear you. You are?" The 4th table, I managed a "so how did you know about this event?" and got a "Oh, circulars." That was that. Conversation killer. I managed another "Ohhh. I see. The army actually handed out circulars?" Cheesy, out of point and totaly irrelavant. And a perfect conversation killer. The 5th and 6th tables weren't better either so don't bother asking. And that was it. The 'social practise' session for actual SDU was a toal failure. How?!?!??!?!?!?!